Parenting, Politics, and Religion, or another alternative title could be stop being an arrogant a**hole or rude b**** (please excuse the language).
I’m laying the baby down for a nap and this has been on my mind for a while, inspired by reading obnoxious comments on news articles and message boards and passive-aggressive parenting advice. I’m also posting on my phone, so I apologize for grammar and spelling or for any weird auto-corrections.
As humans, we vary greatly when it comes to beliefs, thoughts, experiences, and how we deal with those experiences. A group of people may live in the same town, go to the same school and maybe end up at the same workplace, but personality-wise, may be completely different. We can experience the same event but learn different things from it and react to the event differently.
Is it any wonder that we have different opinions? Is it so hard to understand that someone may think or act in a way different than your own?
Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same exact person when it came to our minds? Maybe we would have world peace, maybe not.
Why am I rambling about people being different when it seems so incredibly obvious? Because it seems like we forget this fact, get arrogant, and then become either hateful or extremely passive-aggressive. When does this happen the most? When it involves parenting, politics, or religion. And the Internet, with it’s ability to make one seem anonymous and invincible, brings out the worse in people.
The majority of parents want to do what is best for their children. No one is the perfect parent, but through education, experience, hope, and reason, we try to come up with a system that works for us and for our kids. Some people ascribe to a specific type of parenting style, some pick and choose different parenting techniques and ideas.
Mommy wars is such an ugly thing. Whether it stems from insecurity and guilt, ignorance, or arrogance, it is completely unnecessary.
Just because someone does something different than you, does not make it wrong! And I’m not talking about a parent doing something illegal or dangerous.
So you didn’t breastfeed (or insert any parenting choice). That is your choice. I believe and it has been proven (other things may not be so scientifically supported) to be the best option, but that doesn’t mean I should be hateful to you, or vice-versa.
You know what is also really annoying? Being discouraging and negative to anyone trying. So you would never try cloth diapering, you hated breast-feeding, you can’t believe someone is trying to get their child to sleep more than 2 hours in a row when they are 6 months old; there’s a time and a place to share your experiences. Sometimes it’s better to be encouraging to a new mother, instead. I don’t want to be a negative Nancy when my loves ones have babies. Let’s use some tact.
You know what I think is even worse? Those who are adamantly against something they know nothing about. I see this the most with breastfeeding in public or extended breastfeeding. So you breastfed for a few weeks, never at all, or don’t have kids, you have never looked into child development or researched breastfeeding, but apparently you know so much about how easy it is to give a baby a bottle, feed him in the bathroom, or how nursing a 1.5 year old has no benefit and can cause brain damage!
It seems like those who are the most ignorant about something are those that are most opposed to it.
Politics and Religion
Again, we all have different experiences and even experience those same experiences differently from one another.
Education, relationships, income level, culture, and many more factors contribute to why we think one person would be a better president than the other or why you are Buddhist instead of Morman.
Can you believe you are right? Of course, why would you be committed to something you don’t believe in?
And again, why are we so passionate about something we know very little about? Let’s make sure we educate ourselves about that certain policy before we blast anyone who opposes it.
Let’s try not to be so bitchy about other peoples’ opinions, beliefs, and actions.
We can believe we are right, but let’s be a little more patient and understanding with others.
Let’s have a healthy, rational, and educated conversation (or debate) without attacking each other.
There is not a one-size fits all when it comes to parenting.
You may have to agree to disagree when it comes to religion or politics.
It doesn’t hurt to educate yourself about different ways of doing things or different beliefs.
If you feel the need to correct, educate, or lead someone in a different direction, it can be done respectfully.
And you know what they say about assumptions, right?
I will step off my soap box now.
What’s your opinion?